My Stop-Doing List

Hey there,

I really wish I had 20/20 vision. Hindsight 20/20. Roarin' 20s Part 2. Haha jk, sorry I had to.

Of course, a typical end-of-the-year post to start off the new year "right." Could I be more predictable? It's cliche to create resolutions for the new year, and some may argue it's overrated. I agree to a certain extent, but I also can't help it but reflect on the year ending and take note of actionable items I want to hopefully accomplish in the new year. Especially for the start of a new decade.

I am a fan of documenting and connecting with others, and that is a big part of why I even periodically blog or stay active on my socials. I also use it to hold myself accountable, and for self-reflection and... of course, to entertain my nostalgic moments. I have big plans for the new year, and I figured I'd just mark 'em here so we can all see how close I reach my goals. Share yours with me if you're willing, I'd love some peer motivation. Seriously, I need all the help I can get.

I read somewhere that a "stop doing" list is arguably more effective than a to-do list in isolation, so here's my stop-doing list for the new year.

1. Stop consuming unnecessary sugars (pop, candy, etc.) // No more candy, and limit pop to once a week or only as chaser
2. Avoid impulse purchases // Let it sit for 24 hours before purchasing, and actually make returns for items you didn't want 

3. Stop dwelling or overthinking when you can't control results // Get over it!! When it's unproductive. Set a time limit of how long you're going to let it affect you

4. Stop under-utilizing your gym membership // Gym minimum 4 times a week, every week
5. Stop making excuses to not cook // Only eat out max 2 times a week (meal prep)

5. Stop staying up past 10:45 on weekdays // Just do it. 

6. Stop leaving my "Future Reads" list long and untouched // One book a month 
7. Stop being lax about monthly finance check-ins // Just do it. Find ways to continue reducing expenses, and find a way to make an allowance income 
8. Stop being afraid of your own dreams and "big" goals // bullet journal, consistent blogging/video documenting
9. Don't compromise your own happiness to appease others // Stand up for your own mental health, self-care basics
10. Stop misusing tension, inconsistencies, and stress to create obstacles for yourself to avoid more important issues // Be aware of old patterns/habits, & don't allow yourself to go back to toxic but comfortable cycles

I love planners, playing around with fonts/typography, journaling, and I am looking for a new hobby.. So I will be attempting to start a bullet journal this new year, with these 10 things as core principles to "live" by in 2020. I'll keep you updated on how things go! Hit me up with any tips at all, or inspiration.

Happy happy new year. Do some good this year. Stop fretting about the petty shit, be nice to others. Forgive when you can, and keep working on being the most authentic version you can be.

Love ya,
Shan

Putting it in Perspective

Hey, there. Props to you for actually clicking on my self-promo link on Insta or Snapchat (it's @shannonylee, by the way. Hahahaa). I hope you enjoyed the kick-off to this holiday season! I was lucky enough to spend an entire EIGHT days back home in Northern California, where it rained five of the days I was present. And no, I do not hold any responsibility for bringing the "cold, Chicago" weather over there. Nice try. Although I low-key did miss Chicago a little. This was my first break since I started adult-working, so it felt bizarre not going back to Champaign to squad up with my buddies in preparation for finals.

What did I do this break? No one asked. But I'll tell you anyway. I had wayyyy too much boba and ramen. The options here are endless. My friends know how much I love it, so grabbing tea or coffee is usually a top suggestion every hangout. I just can't resist.

I've had one of the best times back in the Bay this time around. I'm really appreciative of the circle of friends I have here. Even though I chose to be in the Midwest to experience more of a different environment and be independent, it's been nice catching up and looking back on our growth over the years and also sharing our current lives in different cities. It's inspiring to me to hear what other people are up to, and it motivates me to keep my own shit together. My sister started college an hour away from home, so I was able to watch the Cal vs Standford football game with her and I also paid a visit to her campus. We're able to relate on a lot more topics now that she's going through the undergrad experience, beyond topics of ice skating and family activities. I think it's been one of the most positive changes I've noticed in my life thus far.

Speaking of change, I've collected a few dusty drafts for this blog now because I haven't been feeling really inspired to write or edit. I feel myself having spurts of inspiration because there's been a decent amount of change in my life and my mindset and I want to update on it, but it's been challenging articulating everything in words. Honestly, I also feel like this blog catches me at my sappier and emotional moments, even if it's obviously not all-encompassing of my thoughts. I enjoy expressing myself (even oversharing sometimes) on this platform because it's a relaxed, low-pressure avenue to project my inner thoughts onto something tangible. It can be challenging and uncomfortable being vulnerable, but it's always a good exercise to let go of self-judgment and fear for what others think. Content sharing and social media isn't everyone's thing, but it's always been an outlet for me to relate to others and I've noticed how it initiates conversations that may have been harder to transition during casual conversation.

I decided to type something up from this week so at least the time spent thinking about all this didn't go to waste. Specifically, the culmination of events that flooded the news this year. As 2019 soon comes to an end, I figured it was appropriate to utilize some of these thoughts as a leading point in the next year in terms of what I want to work on. We all know about the innocent lives lost through mass shootings/gun violence, and a lot of us have been impacted by the most recent passing of a UIC student during Thanksgiving week. I usually try not to ruminate too long on these topics because I know I can't change what happened. I personally didn't know Ruth George, but I feel deep frustration, hopelessness, and anger. I can't even begin to fathom the numbness of her loved ones through this loss. With all of the violence in this world, tension overseas, and the increase of serious climate issues.. it is overwhelming to grasp the profound issues occurring all around the globe.

I've also clocked a few hours watching competition tv series like World of Dance and SYTCD. It might not seem relevant at all that I just brought up, but there were numerous stories highlighting inspiring stories about the adversities contestants faced. They still find the will to live their dreams, pursue their passions, and touch people with their hard work & talent.

Now relating this back to my personal journey. My main question from all of that is.. What the FUCK am I doing to really get to where I want? I know it's always a work in progress, and I can still be happy with where I am now. But I also know I am lazy, moody, and emotional half the time. I get easily distracted and sleepy, then wake up the next day wishing I had done more.

I digress. Anyway, the point is, shit happens. Life can be bumpy sometimes. But as previously mentioned, life isn't about comparing pain and hardships. Despite all that, even with everything going on in the world today, people conquer their own personal demons every day to get shit done. I have a few comments for myself, and for anyone who finds this relatable. Either way, this is here to hold myself accountable.

Let go of the trivial shit. Gossip, petty shit, moodiness can add texture in life, and it can sometimes be addicting. We all have moments we need to vent or complain, but it's too prevalent in our lives. Even when we all know how immature it is, it still happens. I don't think people even realize when they're doing it, but it becomes a bonding activity when people don't know what to talk about. Usually, there are underlying causes that aren't fixed and won't be fixed if all we do is pick at the rotting band-aid. It is totally valid to express thoughts and stand up for yourself in certain situations, but there's definitely a line not to cross. I personally don't want to too much of my limited time on other people's problems. I have too many of my own.

Secondly, if you have dreams or ideas itching in the back of your mind for you to try, just PURSUE them. There are a million excuses you could use, and yes, it can be daunting. But you will never know how it feels until you are crossing that bridge, and simplifying the goal from A to B may help to eliminate the excuses that are there for no reason. I have a lot of goals I want to make in terms of learning new skillsets (coding, video, fitness/health) that I've been mumbling to myself in my sleep on how I want to start it. How many real steps have I taken to achieve them? Point five. Do I have anything life-threatening things hindering me from it? No. So I really who to blame except for my own, damn self. That SO needs to change. New Years' resolution inspiration? Who knows.

Okay, those are the two main things I've thought about for now. It's getting late. Have a good week, happy Hump Day.

See ya,
Shan